nostalgia

hello hello! 

so i recently heard a definition of nostalgia in a way i never had thought of it before. i always thought it was just having memorable feelings about the past, but this definition actually including a longing for the past. I’m like “oh shit, yes, it is totally a longing”. and, that longing usually comes with some kind of suffering because it’s pulling me away from the present moment, or making me wish that it were that time again instead of now. i have felt these kinds of  things for a long time, always gripping so tightly to things, wishing they were like they were, resisting change, etc. but i see now that it’s a trick of the mind. i see that i’ve been choosing the things about the past that were good and conveniently forgetting about all the other stuff. all that being said, as well, it is gone, so wishing it into the present moment is impossible. 

what i can do in this moment is choose appreciation. that feels a bit better, lighter, more easy. i choose knowing that those things in the past were beautiful and use them also as information to know what i’d like to carry over into my present. also, knowing that all the things that didn’t serve me so well in the past (such as even this awakening i’m writing about right now), i can learn from and do the best i can in this moment. i remember having a thought after one experience I had in Whistler, B.C. staring at the mountains and starting to already feel the grief of having to leave, that if i experience the moment fully and take it in with all my heart, it will never leave and i can call upon it any time that i need. and i do. 

so that being said, i’m excited to be here now. wherever i am, whatever is happening. it’s all i got, so i’m choosing to change my perspective. (and when i noticing myself drifting, simply noticing and not judging.) 

gonna keep this short and sweet for this week friends. keep on keeping on. i know life can be, well, life, but we are strong, we are resilient, wise, and we got this. 

xx kat 

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