Effort doesn't mean Struggle
I’m in my living room on my orange yoga mat, sweating dripping and what feels like every single muscle in my body is burning. I’m in the middle of doing a burpee for the millionth time it seems since starting this workout called “The Class”, this amazing workout which I’ve been doing since June. I feel a familiar pain in the base of my neck, tension in my shoulders, and it’s all so painful that I’m just about to put my knees down and stop. Suddenly this strong, warm, calm voice that doesn’t feel like the usual voice in my head says “effort doesn’t mean struggle”, and “strength does not have to look like this”. This prompts me to soften my face, focus on relaxing my neck and shoulders, and any of the complaining, frustrated, angry thoughts. I feel my belly muscles kick in in a new way, a new sense of peace, and I’m able to complete the exercise with a little smile playing at my lips. It may not sound like much, but to me this is huge.
As the teachers of “The Class” always say, it’s not about the exercise you’re doing. It’s about staying embodied, or in your body, with yourself. Lately I’ve been working on how I speak to and treat myself during my workouts (or really anything for that matter) and making that more important then whatever the thing I’m doing is or the outcome. Workouts are an important place of inner work for me, as I’ve had so much stress and strain around my body and exercise in my life and I’m ready to find a new way and release that.
Changing the focus of my workouts to staying present in my body, speaking to myself kindly and with compassion, and softening around effort has already made such a difference. In the past, my focus could have looked like how many calories I needed to burn, making sure I sweat enough, doing the exercises perfectly or punishing myself for when I couldn’t get through them, etc. I kept finding that the latter only brought me stress and did not make me want to exercise because it wasn’t any fun. These days I’m finding myself looking forward to moving my body and building strength. Instead of punishment, the workouts are feeling like fun, even when the muscles are burning and the heart is pumping faster, and I’m beginning to experience happy memories of being a kid and feeling free and just dancing and moving and expressing myself. I catch myself sometimes thinking “is it allowed to feel like this?”, like I feel like I’m doing something wrong and not getting a good workout or something, but deep inside I know that this is right for me.
All that being said, I think this all can be applied to any area in life. If I can soften and enjoy exercise, which used to feel like torture to me, can I do this anywhere that I feel like I struggle? Do I ever really need to struggle? I don’t think so. I’m not saying that I’m not going to work hard, it’s just that my concept of what working hard looks like is changing. As I mentioned in a past blog, “Bleeding For Success”, I’m learning to change my belief that struggle = success. I’m learning that I do my best work when I’m relaxed, when I feel my inner light and love, and when I’m kind to myself.
When I teach, I show people very different concepts then they may be used to. I often say that learning to sing requires you to break many different habits that you and your body have spent years and years learning. When someone thinks “this is how I sing”, and the sound comes from the back of the throat or they do not open their mouth or I see their neck muscles activate like crazy, of course it’s going to take some time to learn a new way. It’s an ongoing process. It’s going to require time and awareness and attention to change those neural pathways. It is always possible to make change, the thing we cannot control is how the change happens. So, while you learn or practice or make those changes, how will you choose to do the work? Will you put pressure on yourself and stress yourself out by setting crazy high goals and speaking to yourself negatively? Will you check out before you even begin because you think “there’s no way I’m ever going to sound good”? Or will you soften, be kind to yourself, and enjoy the process? I can tell you one thing - you’ll probably keep coming back if you enjoy it and have fun with it, which means you’ll progress quicker and probably get results a whole lot sooner.
I’d love to hear from you if this hit home for you in any way. Always love connecting! If you want to read more like this, and stay updated with my latest releases and offerings, please subscribe to my mailing list by clicking here. And always, if there’s anything you’d like me to write about please let me know by leaving a comment or e-mailing me here. Keep on keeping on my friends.
Also, if you haven’t already, download your FREE 5 minute vocal warm up here!
xxKat