Here's a track I've been writing on and off for awhile. Going to it when I felt the pull of my heart, leaving it when the inspiration had left me. Over the last little while however, with the violence that is happening in the world, I have turned to this when I don't know how else to deal with the sadness and ache and pain and hopelessness I feel. It helps me find the cracks of light, the hope, the love that still exists and always will exist no matter what. Made the artwork as well, as usual, by listening to the track in headphones and letting the sounds be my guide.
In the past I would shut down - shoving down the emotions, not wanting to express them or even understand them - not strong enough, not ready. Holding myself as far away from the situation as possible. I understand now, because of childhood trauma, it wasn't safe for me to share my feelings, and I didn't develop skills to regulate my emotions. Still working on this. Let's just say I feel a LOT...like a LOT A LOT. Yet instead of shoving this down I am using it as fuel, as strength to speak up for what I believe and as inspiration to make art and music that help others find hope and light in the madness. I see now that I am not helpless and that I can make a difference. If I continue to spread and share and show love, be love, choose forgiveness, and release the fear, I alone can contribute to the change that I want to see. This anger and sadness I feel is important and is showing me that I need to transform into an even stronger person, reach my full potential so that I can be of even bigger impact to this world.
Anyway, I have put this up for free in hopes that it may help someone else who feels hopeless, and serve as a sort of antidote for all the fear and sadness and despair that the world is feeling. It's okay. It's going to be okay. We just have to continue being the change we want to see, leading with love, and learning that every person is a human being and deserves to be treated with love and compassion - no matter who they are, what they have done, or what they look like. We are ALL brothers and sisters. We are all ONE. Let the tears fall and cleanse.