Day 5 (yesterday) of Creativity Challenge, Unplugging, Chores, and Clay Kitties
Day 4 (yesterday) of Creativity Challenge - Playing with Clay and inspired by my Kitties!
So yesterday I took a completely unplugged day and it was totally needed. I’m totally feeling doing that every Sunday, at least for now…we’ll see how it goes.
I didn’t realize how much I was burning myself out over the last week, so I took yesterday to reflect and recharge. Believe me, I still felt the old voices of “respond to your FB messages, and comments, people will start to get mad or hurt if you don’t!” However, with an aching body and throbbing mind, a higher part of me said “they will understand, you can’t give if your cup is empty”. SO, I did it. I read, wrote in my journal, did some yoga, meditated, spent time just being. (I didn’t forget the 30 Day Challenge though – I enjoyed making clay versions of my kitties Sheba, Scampi, and Kari.) I was spending so much time on the computer and my phone, and falling back into the old habit of pushing myself to do more though I had nothing left to give. I still battle feeling guilty for spending time on myself, doing the things that are relaxing or fun to me, and I am working on this. I’m proud of myself though, because in the past, I wouldn’t have even noticed if I was starting to get burned out, I’d just keep on going until I got sick, or ended up spending the whole day in bed crying, lashing out at Fred or having the panic/anxiety attacks. So…progress. Even though I haven’t yet figured out the balance of doing music, computer work, social media, planning, writing, responding to messages, making art, AND also things like taking care of myself, getting enough sleep, cooking, EATING (I sit at the computer for so long I totally forget to eat then wonder why I get headaches and feel weak), doing chores, getting exercise, etc... the intention is out there. I want to find something that works for me. And maybe all of this stuff that isn’t working is just getting me closer to finding a flow that does. And I’m learning to be easier on myself about not having it all figured out.
As a kid, I never quite learned the flow of chores – what had to be done, how much, when. It was all very foreign to me. My childhood home and bedroom especially had a LOT of clutter, not much care and love put into picking up or tidying up, etc. It was always a very resentful thing, feeling like a waste of time. Only lately, after doing some reading and work on this, am I seeing chores and cooking etc. as a form of self-love, a form of meditation, and something that I totally can enjoy. (Just gotta crank some tunes and dance my ass off…hehe) Even organization, something I thought was only for boring people and something that would zap away my creativity, I’m seeing how much of a beautiful thing it is. There were lots of underlying stories and emotional blocks that came along with that, I have been working through as well. Also, I pretty much learned to become an “adult” on the road – which also didn’t quite teach me the habits like doing dishes, cooking, cleaning, laundry, etc. that I needed to keep a calm, beautiful home. So, the journey continues. It’s one of those things that are still a pain to me, like I wish I could just sit and write and play music all day and not worry about sweeping or cleaning, or doing the dishes. However, once I make time and space to do the chores, and do them with love, they become a form of meditation, and make me present and appreciate the things I have.
That’s all for now. If anyone has any tips or suggestions regarding chores schedules, etc. I am totally down to hear them! Sending you all lots of love and reminding you to be compassionate and gentle with yourselves. Know that nobody has got it “all figured out”, like I tend to believe. This life is an ongoing classroom, where we are continuously learning new things and being challenged to reach our highest potential. But that’s why we’re here! I am here cheering you on. <3
So much love,