@toydaggers rehearsals. 🗡️🗡️🗡️
Who's coming to hang at @duggansbreweryparkdale this Sat the 24th? Doors at 9pm.
Been spending many days and nights with this one making some cool shit. Mar 24th is going to be fun. ✌️❤️ @toydaggers
@toydaggers is playing a show with The Sends and @ghostedband at @duggansbreweryparkdale on Sat, March 24th. 🍻
Been all about @kflay's music these days. Super inspiring and vibey and badass and awesome. Love the lyrics too. She is incredible. So here's a bit of a ukulele cover of one of her tracks...I'll post the full vid on YouTube eventually...it's on my FB right now if you're interested.
Hope you're having a wonderful day gorgeous people. ✌️❤️
👹I've spent a long time prosecuting myself for bad thoughts I have. They can make me feel like I'm the worst person in the world, stuck, frozen, and like I don't deserve good things. They cause me anxiety and depression. They make sure that I don't love fully, myself or anyone else, and they make sure that I know I don't deserve to be loved. Because how could I be? I have these bad thoughts, so I must be a horrible person/asshole. And then on top of it, I’ve spent so much energy trying to be good and perfect, so I feel even worse thinking that it’s all for nothing. And then...more depression.
Somewhere along the way, though, I began to see that these thoughts weren't actually ME. Why was I judging myself based on these things? Thoughts aren't real. They only become real if you identify with them, if you believe in them, if you let them use you. And, I also began to see that as human beings, we ALL have dark thoughts, surprising fantasies, anger, revenge, envy, hatred, etc. If we keep these hidden, we feel alone, we become ashamed, and then the shame is salt in the wound. Drives us deeper into feeling unworthy, and potentially could cause us to act on the bad thoughts because we believe it's "who we are". The mind is a dangerous place, especially when left in the dark.
I see now that it's not the thoughts that are the problem - there HAS to be dark with the light. There HAS to be contrast and duality to make anything in this world exist. So - the fact that I do have dark or bad or scary thoughts means that I also have the opposite. And, what I believe to be the only thing that is real - LOVE - does not have an opposite. It's not created by the mind, it just IS. Like us, if we let ourselves just Be. The thoughts we choose to act on are what matter.
Life is tough enough as it is. It's time to stop judging ourselves and other people and instead show compassion and openness about our darkness because it loses it's hold on us when we share it. I've said it before and I'll say it again - shining light on the shadows makes them smaller and smaller until they disappear. Let's forgive ourselves no matter what. ❤
I wrote more on Facebook. Much love. Xxx
I’ve spent a long time trying to be what HE wanted, what HE needed. I came up with this fantasy girl I needed to be for someone amazing to choose me, and constantly failed to live up to my expectations (which were always changing). I was always unsure, always felt like a fraud or a failure, and I was doing this all so unconsciously because I didn’t know any other way. The idea of being someone I was proud of, someone I was happy with, someone that I enjoyed being with, did not compute - not even something that crossed my mind. I’m done with it. Drawing a line in the sand. I don’t need to change who I am to get him to love me. He already loves me. And if he only loves me for someone I’m pretending to be, it’s not worth it.
I’m learning who I need to be, who I was born to be. I feel like I’m starting to discover my worth. Like there has been a chest of gold deep inside me all along that has been waiting all these years for me to find. Whether or not he likes it depends on him. Whether or not he stays or goes depends on him. It’s nothing to judge myself by. It doesn't mean I’m better or worse than anyone. I used to think this sounded cold or harsh, but now I see it as after all the bullshit is cut away we are only left with love. When desperation and ego and needing someone to make me feel a certain way is gone - then we can just have fun, and play, and enjoy each other.
Not that I didn’t go through that need to be with him all the time, incomplete without him, missing him when he got up to pee phase. And there are still times I feel that way, and that’s okay. I can let the addiction to him take over sometimes, I’m human. It’s fun sometimes to forget the rest of the world exists and get lost in him for a little while.
I just don’t ever want to lose myself ever again. I love myself too much for that.
We don’t need to be anything other than we are for people to love us. It starts with loving ourselves just the way we are and knowing that we are enough just the way we are. We don’t need anyone to complete us. We are already full and whole and amazing.
Saturday morning thoughts. ❤️ Hope you’re having an amazing day.
#Repost @theellenshow (@get_repost)
I’m determined to do something about this. Please repost it. Use #BeKindToElephants, and for everyone who does, we’ll make a donation to The David Sheldrick Wildlife Trust. @DSWT **LINK IN BIO
Afternoon uke'ing and kitty'ing. She is ridiculously cute.
I don't know this song that well but it was stuck in my head and I was singing it on the train to help with anxiety. Haha. So I may have gotten lyrics wrong. 😸
Crashing these girls' prom in 2003. @aiaphotovideo @maryloudavid. I was so nervous and felt so insecure being at an "older" prom. And we had to sing! Didn't have much money to spend on an outfit so I had to be creative. Only thing that was mine was the black top. (And probably my underwear...I would hope.) Borrowed hat from my cousin, borrowed shoes and gloves from my sister, borrowed suit from my mom which I altered with safety pins right before I left. They probably stabbed me throughout the night, but worth it. Lol. Dunno where the flower was from, but I have a funny feeling I may have stolen it from the dollar store. (Justification: "Well, I don't need the WHOLE branch of flowers. Not proud.) 🤣#tbt
Holy hell it has been forever since I've posted a uke video. Yet today I woke and uke'd!! And it felt incredible. 😺
This song came on last night when I was listening to Doris Day and I wanted to do a vid last night but didn't wanna piss off my neighbours. I remember learning this when I was a kid, I think my sisters were doing it in jazz choir. Or maybe I did it in jazz choir. We were called the Sophisticats. And we went from wearing colourful vests to colourful ties. Yep, I was clearly real cool in high school. 🤥😬 I also remember it being in Sleepless in Seattle 💘 😿
It's such a beautiful song. It makes me feel romantic and all gooey and mushy. (Which I never used to be able to admit). Remember @_fred_mg, me saying I didn't like to cuddle? HAH! Ok you all caught me. I'm unapologetically a hopeless romantic softy badass now. I like love notes and poetry and flowers and hearts and sappy movies and to be told that I'm beautiful. Also, that you're thinking about me. I like that a lot. 😊
Full version I'll probably put on my Facebook or YouTube or something tomorrow. Along with some more babble. 😘😘😘 Much love, lovers. Goodnight.🌛Xxx
Good times today with @captainclick_!! #studio #session #songwriting #vocals
Lol my sister just sent me this...this was Christmas morning, I was maybe 15ish? I totally remember that outfit, and the way I felt. I think I just needed a hug. And ... I wish I still had that shirt. 😬 #tbt
"The Brain". Can't wait to see this bad boy in action when @toydaggers plays live. It's been an amazing learning experience (and might have driven us both crazy in the process) building this rig with @_fred_mg. Like putting together a giant puzzle and new pieces unexpectedly popping up all over the place. Lol. (We need WHAT now? And that? How does that connect? Oh $#&@! 🤣)❤️ .
Thanks to the amazing @jason_djshine_spanu for all of the help and guidance. And thanks to @daddariocanada for all the wonderful cables etc. And...so much love to @radialeng, @motutech, and @sennheiser for making these killer products. #liverig #gear #indieband
Dear friends - I'm so happy to announce that new @toydaggers tracks "Demons & Dreamers" are streaming everywhere now. (Link in bio). Had some amazingly fun times in the studio with @_fred_mg and @captainclick_. ("Betch", Longo's pizza, and anatomically correct tatted up Ken Dolls will be burned in my memories forever). 🤣
Sending you all good vibes on this beautiful Tuesday....today's Tuesday right? ☮️❤️ xx
Stoked to share new @toydaggers music.🗡️🗡️🗡️ 'Demons & Dreamers' now on SoundCloud (Link in Bio)